After the bullshit of yesterday with regard to my trans child and family, it was nice to have a day off from work today. Yesterday was my Friday, today being my Saturday. I stayed up way too late on Twitch with the crew, but have zero regrets. I slept in until 9. It was raining, so I rolled back over until 10. It was still raining so I rolled back over until 11. It was still raining, but I had to get something in on my day off. It was supposed to be a day spent taking my dog to get her nails trimmed and an ice cream cone after. But my kid who still lives with me had missed their bus. Being that I just picked up my van, I was more than happy to give them a ride to work in it. My oldest, who no longer lives with me, works at the same place and was getting off her shift the same time my youngest was starting theirs. Being as they don't drive either and that I was already there and it was raining, I offered a ride home from work to her and she gladly accepted. So I got to spend some time with each of my kids on their own in the new van, which was a nice experience. Ultimately, however, we had made plans late last night to go out for dinner this night tonight to talk about how yeasterday evening went with family and my previous post today.
My mother is crazy, you see. And she is their gradnmother. It is complicated.
At any rate, my kids and I are aligned and there for one another and it was cathartic to get together to hash things out in relation to our grand/mother, as well as the specific situation of my youngest being trans and wanting to fully come out. No decided movement on the coming out, but a renewed sense of support and having their older sister and old man in their corner clearly did them some good. And my kids are amazing, I wish I could just hang out with them every day. So amazing to be a parent, a single parent especially, and see these amazing young adults you raised and helped create just go on to be totally badass young adults. I'm not sure, other than art (visual, lit, music, film, etc) what the real point is for humans to even still be around. Until I hang out with my kids. Being a parent of amazing humans that are into art (visual, lit, music, film, etc) who also care deeply about equality and disparity is just fucking amazing. Nothing like it.
I have a trans child who is a young adult who still lives with me. I have a mid-70s year old mother who is a full grown adult who lives with me. You might have an idea where this is going and you're likely exactly correct or entirely wrong. My trans child has been working on coming out for some time - has been out to me and their sister for some time, out to their uncle for a little less time - and I've let them rule that ship. To be clear, I have zero issue with having a trans kid - again, young adult at this point, 19.5 years old. My only concern is for their well-being, period. Hopefully a happy well-being, but a generally decent well-being is acceptable. This world is flawed and if you get a decent well-being out of the thing, you're doing better than most.
If you step to my kid because you have a personal problem with their presentation, you now have a very serious problem with me. This is clearly only about your beliefs and viewpoints and they don't matter here. They are irrelevant. You're only obligation is to use the correct pronouns and name. Any disagreement and bickering about that will be deemed as disrespectful. You can learn names and labels and use them accordingly and appropriately.
I am so infuriated, but it is so hard because the whole active family unit shares a dwelling. I want to light it on fire, send it down a hill, and run in the opposite direction. You cannot count on lifelong friends and you cannot count on even the most blacksheep family circle if things get a little uncomfortable. Fuck it all.
Who cares who uses what name. Does or does not identify as a human with a sexual orientation? Or as an intersellar organism who doesn't understand that dynamic?