JOURNAL

Today I randomly remembered the time I went to visit Mount Rushmore with my Boyscout troop.

It wasn't memorable for having seen one of the largest, more or less modern, sculptures in the entire world. Carved on the side of a mountain. Displaying presidents of the United States of Amerca. (how absolutely fucking bizarre does that sound when explained in its most basic of terms?)

It was memorable for something else, something else I don't have a term for.

I was standing on the main observation deck - or whatever you want to call it - that is shot out from the building that holds all the merch and propaganda, supposedly the best place to experience the giant big dick measuring contest for dead presidents. One of my fellow Boyscouts, without my knowledge or awreness, came up behind me and simultaneously pushed me towards and nearly over the ledge toward the massive rocky drop below, but did it while also grabbing back on my shirt so it was not going to actually happen. A push-pull thing. Meant to scare or startle me without harming me.

It did not scare or startle me, which is it's own separate thing.

Later in the day I attempted to do the same thing to he who did it to me earlier. And I did. And it worked. He was scared shitless. I was so stoked. But. Unlike him, I was reprimanded. And religated to the back of the van, by myself, for the rest of the trip - another four full days.

I was the only scout from a single mother household and it always felt like those dudes were telling me how to be a better "man" while telling my mom how to expose me to more "manly" things. Also, I was 100% the poorest kid in the troop. I am quite sure my troop got tired of reading and responding to grant requests - which are a part of the whole organization who professes to minimize the barriers between those with and those without.

IDK why I even am talking about this, but yo. Being poor is not a curse. Some people just are where they are. I would be glad to help assist anyone with navigating the course of taking advantage of government assistance programs and other community organization programs, faith based or not, in their area. Please reach out. I have been dealing with these organizations for nearly two decades, I would be glad to share my experiences, knowledge, and connections.