JOURNAL

I managed to get my rent paid for February thanks to a super clutch homie. I don't have words. I really thought I was gonna be looking at jumping the hurdles of eviction proceedings. A brief moment of respite, Februrary a short month, lots of work to be done to get ahead of things. But a moment to catch my breath, at least. Whew.

My kid who moved out hurling the nastiest things you can say to a person still hasn't addressed that scenario but continues to remain in touch in terms of paying the phone bill. I have a feeling that's all it will ever be and when they figure out their own phone plan, I fear I will likely never hear from them again. Or not for a very long time, at minimum. All the support and resources I gave regarding coming out as trans and working with the family dynamic surrounding that and their varying abilities to understand and accept it - not to mention nineteen years of fulltime single parenting the fuck out of life - and this is what I'm left with. I am still so sad and so angry. And now I just feel so lost.

I broke my toe (trigger warning: it's not appealing but not grotesque) on Friday. I didn't go to the doctor so I'm not sure to what extent it's actually injured, but it is 100% broken to some degree. I have a feeling it's worse than I thought and will find myself in the doctor office this week, as symptoms and pain and bruising continue to evolve and change - and in some instances worsen. The swelling only gets (slightly) worse each day, the bruising has extended beyond the toe area to nearly the entire top and bottom of my foot. Additionally, the toe in question - the big toe - is now sort of pointed at and crossing over the secondaary toe. I don't have time for this while being unemployed and looking for work. Which has already proven a nightmare "In ThIs EcOnOmy" and with my underlying health conditions.