JOURNAL

I ate one too many edibles last night and didn't even finish my journal entry because I was too stoned to make heads or tales of the html side of things. Being the sucker for clean code and continuity throughout the website, I almost went back and cleaned up the entry and fixed up typos and sloppy code. Then I remembered this website is supposed to be a document of my journey, as it were. So I didn't. I am rather proud of being able to keep myself from doing so, as I'm a bit of a perfectionist when it comes to anything I do that's deemed "creative".

I will say that my #BoycottAmazon rant last night was intended to be a lot longer, more robust, and littered with details and screenshots. Perhaps it's for the best I didn't include all of that, for the sake of remaining somewhat anonymous here. But for real, cancel your Prime membership and order somewhere else if a all possible. Amazon doesn't give a shit about you, the environment, the retailers partnered with them, or anything or anyone else other than piling mountains of cash for no good reason. I made a button as a result of my experience and renewed seething hate. Steal it and use it. Please.

I am wildly saddened by what's happening with Russia and the Ukraine. We've had and continue to have plenty of conflicts involving military and loss of life in my lifetime, but this thing is shaping up to be the most impactful one with the most longlasting global effects. I stand with the Ukraine.

I had a dream that I got a job as a waiter at Applebees. In the dream I had a lot of inconsequential interactions with other Applebees staff. I remember flipping through the little notebooky thingy waiters and waitresses take down orders on until they're good enough to remember orders and who ordered them. By the way, that's a god damned specialist and special treat right there, when you have a waiter or waitress who remembers all the nuances of your order and where you're sitting and the truly gifted ones get your name and use it or call you honey or sweetie or something similar - not enough of these heros out there. At any rate, at a certain point in the dream I met another Applebees waitress and she invited me over to her house. This dream doesn't go the way you might think based on that last sentence. Instead, it is to her house that she shares with her husband and I am there now, not as a fellow Applebees employee but as a multi-level markerter hawking some bullshit and trying to sign people up under me to do the same. I awoke just as I was about to learn what bullshit product I was tryring to push, but it came in a shamppo style bottle in the size of a two liter of soda.

Yesterday and today I cannot stop thinking about how life was when I had a girlfriend or wife. When we lived together, when we didn't. Early in the relationship, at the tail end of it. I'm a hopeless romantic with no prospect of feeling that way again. I miss being in love so damn much, it's stupid. It is the most asinine of all human emotions, truthfully. But when it's good, it's the best gotdamn thing ever. Of course, when it's bad it is just as equally horrendous.

I am considering starting a Neocities page for my dog. I'm not sure if it should be a shrine, so to speak, or if it should be me imagining life through her eyes. Of course, I would not be able to mention it here, if I decided to do it, so that I could continue to remain fairly anonymous.