JOURNAL

I woke up today and everything was good. Stop off at the gas station and fuel up the van, grab a bite and a drink, withdraw the rest of the money needed to pay rent, swing by the bank and pay rent, move onto work. No big deal.

Except everything was not good, I just hadn't discovered it, initially. When I went to do all the things following waking up, I found out someone had compromised my bank account and cleared all but $7 out of it to buy crypto on some shady crypto site.

Those last dollars I needed to withdraw were my last dollars towards my rent bill. And when I say "my rent bill" I really mean "my portion of rent". My housemates have already given me their rent payment and as house manager I collect and pay rent. But right now I can't because of my bank account being comrpomised. Not a good look for house manager. That said, my housemates aren't terribly pissed off and they aren't upset with me, but this is just one more fucking nail in the coffin, as far as I'm concerned.

I barely want to participate in this world we've built for ourselves, as it is. That's why I bought the van and why I want to work remotely. As I've journaled many a time, if it weren't for the fact that I managed to create a couple of human lifeforms of my own, I probably would have cashed in all my chips long ago. This is one of countless reasons why. Back in the day, you had to pick pocket me or straight up rob me to get my money. Now. Now. Now, all you need to do is be fairly good at computers and internet and know where to look for weaknesses in both and then take advantage of those weaknesses. That's the equivalent of punching an old lady and stealing her purse.

Fuck.

I just discovered that my mother is trying to posture as understanding trans related lifestyles and pushback and I commmend her for it, but she is never going to truly understand it. And nothing I say or do, nor what any trans person says or does will truly get her to understand, either. I don't know whether to be happy she's even trying or just annoyed that I know it's going to go off the rails at the end of the day. Both of my children have had trans friends growing up, i had several trans friends growing up myself, and she just never got it and was always awkward and asking questions that, while generally innocent in nature, were ultimately tactless and harmful.

"His (wrong because they identify as she/they) prnonouns are they/them (no mention of she/her pronouns), so what do I do, do I say 'Hi them, how are you?'"

While I am glad we are having these converastions, I also sit squarely under the ummbrealla of thinking it really matters not how you identify or what your sexual preference is except for those you have those types of relationships with. I long ago abandoned using terms that identified gender in casual conversation and I, ultimately, do not care who or what you sleep with and who or what you identify as. We're all humans experiencing life at the same time with different experiences and neither are more or less important. Of course, this does not address tyrany or other oppression or transgression, but on paper, in a general sense, none of it matters except to those who you are close to in those types of relationships. I don't call everyone "man", I don't anticipate the identity of anyone, I don't care about who you get intimate with, we're all humans just trying to get by. That said, I do think the conversations and information are important - but in my personal experience with my mother... It ain't gonna make a damn bit of difference, and ultimtely it never willl, grandkids are grandkids are grandkids, so just stfu and keep it moving.

I'm terribly saddened by the string of mass shootings here in the USA over the last week. The unfortunate thing is, I don't see them slowing or disappearing. If anything, they only increase in frequency and severity. I have long been a proponent for melting all the guns down and doing something with all that material. And, yes, I do mean even the guns in the hands of police and other related personel. Obviously, initially, this would not be an option, as getting all the guns wrangled from the tight grips of NRA memebers and thugs alike would take some time. But the end goal is still the same. The only purpose for a gun, of any kind, is to end life. That alone warrants the erasure of their existence. No, I don't have an answer for how to make this happen. But. I believe it needs to happen.

I have been learning alot from, of all places, the Youtube channel for Russel Brand. A former drug addict, alcoholic, and "problematic" celebrity that is now on a (lengthy) path to recovery who has shifted from conspiracy theorist to tried-and-true documented source for news and reactions to geopolitical information and more. Whouldathunk. I wish everyone I knew watched his videos. If for nothing else than info gathering for our own personal conversations.

At any rate, if you'd like to tip me for my content, design, or struggle - use the tip option on Neocities or click the link below.