JOURNAL

All of management was out of office, over half of them unplanned, for our supposed holiday to honor the laborers here in The good ole United States Of America. Shocking. Disgusting.

We blow out candles to celebrate getting older and burn the body when we die. Fire is life, fire is death.

To be fair: a good reason I drink and smoke is to dull the pain. Not just the emotional shit, but the physical shit too. Getting hurt on the job and beating my meat vessel to a bloody pulp from drugs and dancing and bombing by the age of 30 doesn't help. And I've only myself to blame. Well, maybe there's some genetics at fault, as well, because every member of my family has some sort of early onset scenario of one sort or another - and not all are self induced. At any rate, I only smoke and drink in the evenings and nights and only after all my responsibilities have been satisfied. I won't say having one - or a few - too many hasn't impeded my ability to go to work the following morning, but it is a rarity. Increasingly so as I can't drink or smoke or stay up late like I used to. At any rate, all this to say - self-medication is a fine line and a two edged sword. Tread carefully.