JOURNAL

I am in so much pain today. I wish I would've sued my previous employer when I got hurt on the job, rather than try to take the high road and work it out amongst ourselves. At least I'd have some money in the bank and wouldn't be constantly stressing about calling out from work nowadays due to the level of pain I'm experiencing. Today is easily the worst it's been in three or four years, and that's saying something. I always hurt. Always. But today, today is bad. Sitting or standing or walking or doing really anything for any length of time is problematic, so I am boucing between all of the things and that is not ultaimtely helping the situation. I hardly ever cry, anyone who knows me knows this to be true. But I woke up in tears and have spent most of the day drying them from my face.

Another night of drinking and smoking in an attempt to dull the pain.