JOURNAL

I have absolutely no idea what I'm doing with my life right now. I go to work about 85% of the time I am supposed to be there. I might be in danger of losing my job, as a result. I spend most of my freetime outside of work sleeping and playing fetch with my dog. When I'm not doing those things, I am getting high and drunk on various Twitch streams with people I have come to know over the last two or three years and consider friends. Occasionally, I'll go sit by this manmade lake not far from here. Otherwise. Well. That's about it.

I mean, that's all mostly true. I am always doing more than that. Things like laundry and grocery shopping and cleaning the bathroom. But other than playing a second round of Assassin's Creed Odyssey, I am not doing much. I have ton of ideas, but I can't bring myself to actualize them. I guess I am playing and mixing music on the regular more than I have for a couple of years, so that's something. After decades of prolific and varied work of all shapes and sizes on the artist/creative spectrum, it just sucks to look at my life right now and see almost no current sign of that type or frequency of output. It makes me sad. Fuckit, I'm straight up depressed. It's been months since I last drew something or finished a tune.

Instead, I'm getting wasted more often than not while listening to music streams on Twitch, working on this website, playing videogames, and sleeping too much while calling out from work too often.

Something's gotta change.